The Rite of Spring: The Student

The Rite of Spring: Fragment 5

The Student
in which Taynuic learns his Father's history, and visits the House of the Eye

My father called to me. I went in out of the brilliant sunlight of the alley, in to the cool dimness of his study. I bowed my head, and said "you called me, my father". My father looked up at me from his books, and said

"I saw you were speaking with Ballasallt's daughter again". I waited. He asked

"does she seem fair to you?"

I blushed. Ballasaltshain is fun to be with. I like the way her eyes flash when she teases me, and the way they crinkle when she laughs. I said that she was just a girl.

"You know that I have asked you to be careful of speaking with girls."

Well, that was so. But I knew that many of my friends spoke to girls - I knew that some of them claimed they had done more than speak to girls. I asked my father why I should not do so, and it was then that he told me his story. This is it, as he told it to me then in his study, with the door closed so that customers should not come in, with all the sounds of the alley ringing in through the little window.

"When I was young, I served the House of the Eye, as I have told you before. When I was newly initiated to the priesthood, I was sent to a village in the delta marshes. It is the way that a priest is sent to every village of any size in the Place, so that the Rite of Calling Up may be heard everywhere, and the people may be comforted by hearing the will of the God; and also, that young men may be encouraged to turn aside from the desires of the flesh and follow the true path. Now this village was remote, and there were few others of the Cult of the Eye who dwelt near, so my life was solitary, and I became very lonely.

"The only events in my days would be when one villager or another would come to me to have me read in the stars the God's will for them, where the fish would run, or if the weather would hold fair for some voyage they were planning. This I did to the best of my ability, and the villagers would give me gifts of food, so that I did not go hungry. Now there was in that village a House richer than all the others together, and the Elder of this House was of our cult. He visited me often, to know the will of the God, and sometimes even to share the burden of the Calling Up with me. His House owned two merchant ships, and when the voyaging season came on he came to me and consulted about a voyage he planned to make to the Cities of the Coast. This would be a long voyage, and would take almost a year to complete. I consulted the stars, and saw that the voyage would be prosperous, but that while he was away, someone dear to him would die.

"He asked me if I could see who this person would be, but my skill was not sufficient and I could not. Then he said to me that the one person he could not bear to lose was his youngest daughter, and asked me to watch her closely and pray for her often whilst he was away. I promised to do this, and, at the due time, the old man set forth.

"Now the daughter was a very fair young woman. I knew her already by sight, but had not then spoken to her. However, a few days after the ship had sailed, she came to me to ask me to read the stars for her concerning the matter of a young man whom she wished to lie with, and whether he would be good to her. I have told you that I was carefully reared, as I have tried to rear you, and had then entered the House of the Eye as a novice; and in that House, as you know, there are no women. So I had not before been quite alone with a young woman. I felt the tug of the darkness within her, as I had been warned that I would, and as I have warned you that you will. But I steeled myself, and took down my star books to do the reading.

"Almost at once I discovered that it was she who would die, and that, at the hand of the young man she favoured, although I did not know whi this might be. I was overcome with sorrow, both for her good father, and because she seemed so bright and full of life. I suppose that something must have shown in my face, for she laid a hand on my shoulder and asked me what was wrong, what had I seen. Perhaps it was through that touch that the darkness took hold of me, but however that may be, before the time came to turn the glass again I had defiled myself upon her. And as the days passed, she came to my chapel again and again, under the pretext that her father had charged me to watch over her, and again and again I lost myself in the darkness within her.

"In my madness I made myself believe that the villagers would not notice, or that, if they did, they would not tell anyone of my House, so that it would not matter. But the God sees everything, and does not like to see oaths broken. The seasons passed, and still she came, and still I went into her darkness, until, at the time her father would be turning for home, I saw that the shape of her was changing, that she was becoming rounder, her body fuller. I asked her why this was, and she said that she was bearing a child. I thought little of this, but as her body changed, the darkness called less to me, and I saw her less often.

"Then, just at the time we were expecting her father's return, she bore a fine boy child. I was in great fear that she would die in the birth, for I knew that her death must come soon; but the birth went prosperously. Two days later, she came to me, and showed me the child; upon which I complimented her. Then she said that, as the child was mine, it was appropriate that it should be I who should bless him. I then became angry, and denied the child could be mine; but she said that it was so, for she had lain with no man else. I said that she must not say so; that I should never have done so, and that I most assuredly would not do so again. Then she said, if I would not lie with her, she not lie for me. She would tell everyone, particularly her father. At this I struck her, so that she fell against the altar, and so died.

"Thus it was that when her father returned, he learned of what had happened and was greatly wrath. He called upon the Auditor, and the case was laid before the God. The judgement of the God was just that I must bring up the child myself, to the best of my ability. I was cast out from the House of the Eye. But I have fulfilled the judgement, and you are that child."

I thought a lot, in the days that followed, about the story my father told me. There were many things in it I did not understand. For example, if women were such a temptation to men, why had the God made them? If Ballasalltshain was really filled with darkness, why did she seem to me so bright? Why, most of all, if women are full of darkness, must I speak of the God as 'She'? Later that same afternoon, another of the astrologers who live in the Alley of the Morning Star asked me to go to the House of the Eye with a gift of candles from him. My father is not rich, for he has no House and must live on his own income - and rich folk don't go to a back street astrologer when they want the stars read, they go to the Great House. So I run errands for whoever will pay me, to help keep the rent paid and food on the table.

I, too, went to the Great House, through the twisting warren of alleys between the rickety tenements at the Back of the Eye, and out into Moon Street. It's always seemed to me a nuisance that the Great House doesn't have a door - or even so much as a window - onto Moon Street, because it's quite a long walk to get right round the House to the front. I went round by the Street of Wisdom, which was a mistake, because the good smells drifting out of the Food Market called to the copper in my pouch. But I, too, could steel myself, and I ignored the scents, and the cries of the vendors, and went round to the front and thus into the quiet calm of the Chamber of the Sands. I stood a moment, letting my eyes adjust. High overhead, the great sunclock measured the God's time. In the middle of the chamber, the great sandglass tracked the sun, so that the time could be told even when the day was overcast. The four watchers stood around the sand, silent, waiting for the light to change colour or the last grain to fall.

A priest came over and greeted me, asking my business; so I made the gesture of respect, explained, and gave him the candles, and he thanked me, and would have turned away. But I steeled myself further, and said very quickly

"Sir - might I speak with you - or if you are too busy, with someone else perhaps - concerning a matter of doctrine?"

The priest said, very gravely,

"you may speak, my son. Come, there are stools here; be seated, and explain your concern."

He led me to a corner where we found two simple stools of wood and rush. Dim light filtered down from the single window of the sunclock ten manheights above us, stained gold, for it was the Hour of the Stomach, and the shaft of light fell full on the yellow banner. We sat down. The priest said

"now speak, my son, and I shall try to answer you."

"Sir, it is the doctrine that the God is the unique being of pure reason, and it is because of that that the God is filled with light." The priest nodded.

"That is so, my son."

"But it is also doctrine that women are beings of emotion, with little reason, and are filled with darkness."

Again he nodded.

"That also is so, my son." "Sir, why is it then that I must call the God 'She'?"

The priest looked at me very directly, and said

"My son, that is an acute question, but the reason is in fact quite simple. Gender is a thing which beasts have, and that men have only because they have been made from beasts. Just as man is above beasts in that he has reason, the God is above man in that the God has no body, and thus no gender. But it is a matter of language that we have no word for a being who is above gender, so that we apply words to the God which are strictly inappropriate. When you or I call the God 'She', we do not imply the God is like a woman. We might just as well call the God 'He' - indeed, better, for man, haveing reason, is nearer to the God than woman. But we say 'She' as a matter of politic, or diplomacy: it causes less offence to the lesser Houses."

"But, Sir", I asked again,

"I ask pardon for all these questions, but why did the God make women at all?"

The priest sighed, and then spoke again.

"My son, you will know that it is doctrine that the God is immortal, has existed since before the beginning of time, and will exist after the end of time. At the beginning of time, the God was alone. The God sought to bring into life other beings, in order that the God might engage in rational discourse. But no other being could survive in the void where the God then lived. Then the God created the world, to provide a home for lesser beings, and peopled it with men. But the God found that the men would die, for no being that is bound to earth can be immortal, and thus the God must continually work to replace them. Also, the men, having bodies, would often exercise sensual lusts as of eating and drinking, and thus turn aside from the shining path of reason; and such men could not hold discourse with the God. Then the God created women with a twofold purpose: in the first place, in order to bring more men into life; and in the second place, to seduce away from the one true path all those who were weak to the sensual lusts, so that only those who valued Reason above all else would serve the God."

He looked at me rather sternly and sadly.

"My son,"

he said,

"it is for this reason that you must ignore the calls of the flesh. It is not because women are evil that they lure you away from the path. It is their nature - that for which they were created. You must not hate them for it, or treat them with discourtesy or anger. Rather you should pity them. Remember, only those who can utterly escape the flesh are called out of it at the end; no-one who has known the brief rapture of a woman's darkness can taste the eternal rapture of the God's light."

"A last question, Sir?"

I begged. The priest nodded. I said:

"why are there other cults, Sir? Why do the riverbank Houses exist?"

"My son, there must be simpler beliefs for those who cannot cleave to the true path. These cults are all mistaken, the Houses of the Flesh in particular are quite wrong in their belief that the God, in choosing to become incarnate in the body of a man, consequently has carnal needs. Nevertheless, it is the God's wish that there should be cults which allow the irrational to have a focus for worship, and thus to keep their lusts in check, and Place peaceful. But always remember, my son, that only the Eye can see the one true shining path of reason, through the darkness of lust and emotion; and that women are placed there by the God to lure you from it."

I realised, as I walked back, running the gauntlet of the smells in the Street of Wisdom, that women were like the Food Market. Just as the smells lured me in, and would have me spend the copper instead of giving it to my father, so the flash of Ballasalltshain's smile sought to lure me in and would have me spend my life in the flesh when I might dedicate it to the service of the God. But, at the same time, a voice at the back of my mind said 'well, that's what the Eye say. What would the lesser Houses say?' And to that, I knew no answer.

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