The Rite of Spring: Fragment 29
The Princess
in which Aonan meditates on her fate, and its alternatives

The text which he brought was a tale of a maid and her encounters with men. The maid dwelt with her parents, uncles, aunts and other kin in a pleasant house set in an orchard. I was surprised to find that the maid in the tale was encouraged by her parents to make her own choice of man. Her parents had betrothed her to no-one. There were several men she considered. One was shy and awkward, but seemed most kind and honourable. Another was handsome and amusing. She chose the latter. Her parents thought it a poor choice, but did not over-rule her.

However, after some time she found that the man was lazy and selfish. I did not fully understand all the words used, but I think she was then with child by him. Nevertheless, she chose to leave him, and return to her parents. Much to my surprise, they accepted her back into their house. After this, she met again with the shy young man, and her parent welcomed him also into the family home, where they dwelt together.

When the lad had finished reading, he excused himself. I thanked him very much for his kindness. He then left, and I was alone to ponder what I had heard.

There was much in this story I did not understand. I had never considered the possibility of choosing the man who would be my master; such is not the way among our people. Also, it appeared that the maid in the story behaved extremely improperly. Apart from the brief events I have related, the maid was said to kiss and embrace several other men, and there were other things she did too, but the words were unfamiliar. I could not understand why the parents in the story did not unname the maid as a whore, and cast her out. Most of all, I could not understand how any man could accept a woman who was big with another's child.

There were other meditations which it engendered within me. It seemed that many of these unfamiliar things were most pleasurable. I related them in my mind with the things I had seen Kiara and Tan do the previous night. Their faces had shown warmth and love and pleasure. I had never considered that contact between a man and a maid might involve unfamiliar pleasurable experiences. Would my relationship with my betrothed involve such pleasures? If I had been the maid in the tale, would I have been deceived by the amusing man?

Indeed, what sort of man would I choose? The problem was that I knew so few. Apart from my father, whom in truth I remember as harsh, bullying and quick to anger, the only man I really knew was the savage Linnain. Linnain, I thought, would be fun to live with. He was amusing; he was tolerant; although he made a show of temper, his anger was not deep, and he was quick to make up. He did not expect to be served, but on the contrary had been prepared to do quite menial tasks for me. On the other hand, I could not imagine that touching Linnain would give me the sort of pleasure the story implied. I thought about this for a considerable while, and then, there being nothing else to do, I confess that I drowsed.

It was late in the day that Tan returned to the room. He asked me if I would consent that Kiara and he should dine with me. I gave this consideration, and acceded. Dishes of most excellent food were brought - a dish of scented rice, bowls of different sauces, tangy and spicy, a dish of meatballs, another of sliced chicken, and one of small fish fried crisp, a large bowl of crisp sliced vegetables, some sticks of crispy bread, and a bowl of fruits for afterward, all accompanied by a most excellent wine.

When this had been laid out, Kiara joined us, the door was again locked, and we settled down together to eat. Over the meal, we conversed about our childhoods. Tan opened the topic, and it proved for me an excellent choice, for without raising any matters which would have offended me, it allowed me to learn more about these people.

I was struck by how much we all shared. Kiara, like me, had grown up mostly in a tent. Tan had dwelt in a house, but his family also kept herds. As children, we remembered making toy animals out of bits of stick or rag, and also more finished toys that elders had given us. We remembered tumbling in the dust with other children. We remembered watching our elders cook, or weave, or herd beasts.

But there were differences too. Tan's family were poor and humble, and he described how his mother had a clay jug, which was her most treasured possession. Tan, being an awkward youngster, had broken this. He laughed at his clumsiness. I asked him what had happened after that, and he simply looked puzzled and said, why, we didn't have a jug. I described how on one occasion while quite small I had tripped, and fallen upon one of my father's pipes. I said that he had beaten me for it with his herding stick. Kiara was shocked. She said "oh! you poor, poor child", and reached out a hand to me in a gesture of obvious sympathy. I did not know how to take this. I said

"it was only a beating..."

- they were both looking quite aghast -

"surely you, too, were often beaten?"

They said they were not. I found this so unexpected that I pressed them both on the point. Both were quite clear; they had never been so much as struck by an adult all through their childhood. I was silent for a while. By this time the food was almost eaten. I took the last meatball, dipped it in my favourite of the sauces, rolled it in what remained of the rice, and ate it. Tan offered my a towel that had been kept hot in a special dish, to clean my hands. I carefully wiped away the sauce and gravy. Then I, myself, opened a topic which I knew might become dangerous.

"Tan", I said,

"in the story I heard today, the maid chose her own man. Is that practice common among your people?"

He laughed.

"Yes, to my sorrow", he said, still laughing.

"Why do you laugh?"

I asked. He said

"oh, because it happened that in the place where I grew up, I was considered awkward and dreamy, and none of the girls chose me". I considered him. I have said before that he seemed to me an excellently made man, and from what I have told you, you will know that he could be kind and considerate. I thought those girls foolish; or else, perhaps most men were even nicer? I asked a number of other questions concerning the tale, but the answer to one of them most discomposed me, so that I was embarrassed, and, because of the situation, also afraid. Kiara noticed this, and started to talk about horses. This became a long and enjoyable discussion, partly about horsebreeding, in which I am much interested and she seemed most knowledgeable, and also about favourite horses we had known.

By the time we had exhausted the topic the wine was running low, and through the window the sky was quite dark. I was tired. Kiara started to get up, saying

"thank you for a very pleasant evening". I thanked them, too, for coming, saying honestly that I had enjoyed their company. Kiara said

"Aonan... do you mind if we sleep here again, tonight?"

It was unexpected. I flushed, and stammered. In truth I did not want to be alone in that stone room, so unlike a tent out on the steppe. I had never slept quite alone before my days in the house of the black-robed men, and to be honest it had frightened me. On the other hand, I remembered also what I had witnessed the previous night. I said

"I would prefer not to answer that question". "But you do not forbid it?"

"No", I said, "I do not forbid it".

They left then for a short while, taking with them the detritus of the evening, and I prepared myself for rest. Shortly after I had laid myself down on the palette Kiara returned, bearing with her a quilt. This she laid down on the thick rug outwith the bars. She turned to me looking flushed and embarrassed, and spoke hesitantly.

"Aonan, are you awake?"

"Yes", I said. "Aonan... it is not customary for me to be seen without my bridle. but it is uncomfortable to sleep in. If I take it off, will you give me your word that you will not tell of it?"

Of course, I gave my word immediately. She turned away to remove it. Obviously, for her, this was as embarrassing as the various experiences had been for me. Yet it was only a matter of a few straps, which covered but little of her face, and she had betrayed no shame in exposing every other part of her body both to me and to men. Keeping her back to me, she divested herself of the remainder of her harness, and of her skirt, and laid herself down.

Tan now came in, wearing a robe. He blew out the lamps. In the sudden darkness, I heard a rustling of garments, and then a murmured "goodnight"; and after that, nothing. I, too, fell swiftly asleep.

When I awoke to the bright light of a new day, Tan was gone. Kiara was still sleeping. Her face was turned towards me soft and childlike, unlike her waking face; streaked with pale strips as if she were still wearing a bridle some shades lighter than her skin. Her hair was tumbled about her. Her breathing was steady and slow. I lay and watched her for a long time. After a time her breathing changed. Then she stirred and snorted. Her eyes blinked open, and she looked around muzzily, obviously uncertain where she was. Her eyes rested on me, and she looked puzzled for a moment; then suddenly she pulled the blanket over her face and rolled over. A hand emerged, and groped around. Obviously she did not find what she was searching. She twitched back the blanket and stood up, completely naked, but holding a hand over her face so that I should not see it. She found the bridle, and facing away from me, refastened it over her head. Then she turned back, said

"good morning", and, with no attempt at concealment, stretched profoundly.

ÿ

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Copyright (c) Simon Brooke 1992-1995

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