The Rite of Spring: The First of The Cock

The Rite of Spring: Fragment 33

The First of The Cock
in which Tan is interrupted in his work, and gives Aonan a tool

Like any other physical activity, ploughing women is something which develops with practice, and as it is an important part of my duty, I do get practice. If I am an athlete, then I am an athlete not in the sense of someone with abnormal, God given gifts, but more in the sense of someone who undertakes an abnormal discipline. There is nothing intrinsically special about me. I am able to give seed repeatedly because I am trained to give seed repeatedly, and not because I am abnormally virile.

Nevertheless, there is a limit to what one can do, at least if one seeks to do it well, with care and attention. The matter of Aonan had taken a large bite out of my preparation time for this Rite, and would take more. Yet I still had sixteen celebrants who had asked for the physical rite, and only two days left. Women like to take the seed of the priest, for in many places it is considered lucky to bear what is called 'the child of the God'; as this cannot be done in the formal ceremony, it is normally done beforehand. So that day, after the morning meeting of the Council of the House, I had gone up to one of the celebrants' dormitories to cover seven.

Any act ceases to be special when one is habituated to it. Even the act of union, which, with death, is one of the two unfathomable mysteries of life, becomes so. Perhaps, also, the care which we must take to avoid spreading venereal diseases, which means that we have to carefully clean our cocks at the moment when they are most tender, takes away a lot of the simple carefree joy which young men think they would experience if put into a room with seven young, naked, attractive, eager women. This group were perfectly nice girls - I liked them all - and the activity was pleasant; but nevertheless, a part of my mind was engaged on other matters, so that when the interruption came, I was not actually certain whether I was ploughing my third woman of the morning, or my fourth.

The interruption was Aonan, of course; in person, which I found more surprising. For a moment, I confess I wondered whether she had asked to come here - even, engaged in the activity I was, whether she had come to take her turn. Then I realised she must be attempting to escape. After she had gone back to her room, I completed the task in hand, although I have to admit my attention was so distracted that each successive woman seemed to be her. The God had specifically laid upon me that I must perform the physical as well as the symbolic rite - that is, I had to lie with her as a man as well as plough her in the theatre with the plough of the God. I knew I could not do this unless she was willing.

The thought had not troubled me when first it had been announced; I had never before met a woman who would refuse me as priest, just as I had never, in the days before I became a priest, met a woman who would accept me as Tan. I did not feel that I had become conceited - after all, it was not me they wished to lie with, but the God. And similarly, I did not - I hope I did not - feel personally slighted when Aonan refused. I felt merely inadequate for the task to which I had been set; I knew I must seduce Aonan, I who had never before successfully seduced a woman.

I knew that, to her, what must be done seemed a terrible injury. I knew that I could not do it while she continued to see it so. I did not think it would truly injure her; in my pride, then, I assumed we could make as good and happy a life for her here, as a free and valued friend of this House, as ever she could have imprisoned in the harem-tent of a barbarian horse-thief on the steppe.

In any case, when I had finished my morning's task, cleaned up for the last time, and put on some clothes, I went to the vestry, collected a ceremonial plough, went to the refectory, got a tray of food for two, and went up to the cage. It seemed to me that the symbolic rite was a thing which she might be persuaded to accept; and that, if we could get past that barrier, then the physical might come also be possible. The God had not given me much time; I now had only two and a half days.

Aonan was pacing. She looked up when I came into the outer chamber, but her look was not the open greeting I had had the last time or so, but clouded and confused.

"Aonan", I said, "I have some food. May I bring it in to you?"

She looked perfectly straight at me, and said

"if you unlock the door, I shall seek to come out."

"Would you prefer I pass you food through the bars?"

"No, I would prefer you open the cage so I can come out."

I found this difficult to work round. I knew I must not let her out. I did not want to feed her like an animal. Eventually, I went out into the corridor, caught Duirloch who happened to be passing, and asked him to assist me with the door. I had the bag with the plough in slung over my shoulder. I laid the tray down just outside the bars, and asked Duirloch to open the door, telling him to close and lock it as soon as I was in. As I had more than half expected, Aonan immediately tried to push past me and get out. I took her by the upper arms, but gently, for I did not want to hurt her, and pushed her back into the cage. She pushed against me with all her strength, and I was surprised how strong she was; but she did not struggle or attempt to hurt me. When I saw I could hold her, I put an arm round her to hold her to me, and asked Duirloch to bring in the food. He did this quickly, then locked us in, and left. I at once released Aonan. She took a step back.

"Tan", she said,

"why are you doing this to me? I believe that you like me, and yet you will destroy me."

I held out a hand to her, and to my surprise she took it.

"I will not destroy you", I said. "It is a simple thing, and a good one; a rite which creates life and fertility and rich harvests. It destroys nothing. It will not destroy you."

She said, with exquisite sadness,

"you cannot understand."

She blinked. I saw that tears were tracking down her face.

"Come", she said. "Will you share food with me?"

We ate, at first, in silence. It had a strange taste to it, that silence, heavy but not bitter. I could think of no tactful way that I could open the matter I wished to lay before her. Fortunately, as I had half hoped, she opened it for me.

"Tan... this morning... Why must you do that before the rite, if you will do it in the rite?"

I sat up to gather my thoughts. Now I must speak more carefully than ever.

"Many women wish to take the seed of the priest", I said,

"Because a child born of such an act is considered lucky. But in the ceremony, the act is not done in such a way that seed can be transferred. So some of the women choose to lie with the priest beforehand, in order that they may take his seed."

I hoped she would ask another question, but she did not. After some time I went on.

"Aonan, is it not true that among your people dishonour lies in taking the seed of a man who is not your master..?"

I waited, again she did not answer. Her eyes were turned down, concentrating on the fringe of a rug which she was plaiting. After the long pause began to drag out uncomfortably I continued

"there could be no dishonour, surely, in taking part in the ceremony, for no seed is passed."

She went on plaiting the fringe.

"Aonan..."

I said. I reached out and gently brushed her cheek with my knuckles. She looked up, deeply sad, yet not, it seemed, hostile. I felt overwhelmed by a need to kiss her. I brought my knuckle to my lips, kissed it, and, tentatively, held it out to brush hers. She smiled faintly. She looked down again at her plaiting.

"Aonan, look..."

I took the tool out of my bag, still enclosed in its jewelled casket.

"This is the tool with which I must plough you."

Very carefully, I laid the casket before her, and opened it. She opened up the silken wrappings, and lifted out the tool.

I had brought her the oldest, and finest tool that we have. It is not large, like some, and has no uneven decoration, as some others have. It is a very simple thing, a shaft of gold four thumbs long and rather more than a thumb thick, with swirling inlaid spirals in gold of another colour. The head was a single ruby, of suitable size, not cut in facets but polished smoothly into the appropriate shape. The whole was attached to a scrotal sack of soft red leather, while bronze stays, one designed to fit against the lower stomach, and one passing to the left of the wearer's own genitals to rest against the coccyx, together with a belt of gold chain, held it firmly in place in use.

Aonan turned it over in her hands; she closed one long dark hand around the stem. Her eyes were utterly engaged with it, so that I could not read her expression. I stumbled into clumsy speech.

"See, it is a simple thing. There is no harm in it. There can be no dishonour in it, surely..?"

At last she looked up. Her face was a clean of expression as a corpse. Her eyes held mine for several moments. What was she thinking? Was she coming round? She spoke.

"Go! Go away from me! Go away..."

I got up and stumbled out of the cage. I felt that I had gambled more than I could afford and lost. I felt real despair. I went to find Kiara myself, not bothering to send a novice, not thinking of the dignity of my House or my office. I knew that I needed her help.

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